Stranger than Fiction

"So I was just over here minding my business and…"

Orobo Chronicles: Being the opposition

I have always been on the heavier side.

Even when I was apparently smaller i.e. a UK size 10/12, I thought I was big so I covered it up.

These days, I am more aware of my looks for two main reasons: 1. I suddenly have a rather unsightly obvious stomach and, 2. Apparently, orobo no dey reign.

To be fair, I am not lacking attention. I am not ugly by any stretch of anybody’s imagination even when my skin is trying itself. I am a pretty girl. Not drop dead or stunning. Pretty. Looks that transcend time (my Mom is pretty too and I would just like to say that I love her to bits)



I am not happy. I want to be comfy. I need to lose at least 40kg. I want to fit in airplane seats without the air hostess fiddling with the extension or asking me if I need to move from the exit row as I might need one, I want people to know my real age, realise I am young and stop calling me Madam, I honestly truthfully need to stop eating and exercise more. And I need to free alcohol.

I wear black 95% of the time. I like the way it looks, yes. Black is also forgiving. Once upon a time, my Mom would ask (and try to convince me otherwise) why I wore so much black and we would argue to all lengths and eventually, she would let it go. These days, it appears she has given up.

Look, I know what the problem(s) is/are. I weigh more than I should. I eat and drink more than I should. I don’t exercise enough.

Breakfast this morning? A Mr Biggs sausage roll and a San Pellegrino aranciata rossa canned drink. Carbs. sugar.

Then I was in my feelings later in the day and ate fried baby hake which is like eating heavily seasoned flour and oil with a hint of fish.

No, really.

But it tasted sooooo gooddd.

I don’t know if this is a cry for help or a proclamation but I know this: My birthday is in November. I need to be at least 2 sizes smaller by then.

I have 12 weeks. I need help.


If you have any ideas, REAL HELP or  suggestions, please let me know. I am confused, tired, and ready to throw in the towel and I do not want my overall health to suffer for this.

Kindly note that I have no time for malicious, mean spirited advice. Best believe that I will cut you. I am not this size for you to make fun of or to feel better about yourself.

That’s what amusement parks are for.




2 comments on “Orobo Chronicles: Being the opposition

  1. Henry
    August 26, 2015

    If you really really want it, then now is when to start a cut down on what you have identified as the enemy – food that helps you pile up.

    NB: Orobo still reigns, not at the cost of your “overall health” though.


  2. Soji
    November 27, 2016

    You write well. You can try the ketogenic diet. It is very effective though not easy considering that the food must always be freshly prepared.

    Happy birthday, although I don’t know which day in November.


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This entry was posted on August 25, 2015 by in Nigeria, Orobo Chronicles, Personal, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , .


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